Welcome to this week’s blog that considers the working world, what we do,

and what it takes to work with purpose, lead with impact, and engage with people in a way that really makes a difference. In our ‘Work Unplugged’ podcast last week, Amrit spoke on the beautiful subject of developing meaningful relationships. I mean, this topic for me is an absolute gem and holds a lot of meaning in life generally, inside and outside of work. I can’t wait to explore it and share my thoughts with you!

If you have been lucky enough to have joined Amrit in one of his workshops, or if you listened to the podcast, you would know that Amrit is an introvert and speaks openly about how painfully shy he was as a young man. I on the other hand, would have said I was an extrovert growing up, only to learn in adult hood (and pretty recently at that), that I am introverted, with huge people pleasing tendencies!

As I have got older, I have found myself wanting to understand more about why I felt a sense of unfulfillment in some of my relationships, and have spent literally years on a reflective journey of self-development. Hence the fact this topic holds so much meaning for me! So many things came to mind when I considered what to write for this article, and what underpins it all is authenticity. Now we speak on this in most workshops we run, and for good reason.  

Amrit was moved to speak on this topic because of his son, whom, having just started university, and as a fellow introvert, was finding making new friends a challenge. Amrit found himself sharing, that the way to make new friends, was to make others feel valued, and that most people don’t often take the time out for each other. As someone who’s worked with all sorts of teams, hybrid, remote, and being all together in one office, I know how important this is. Genuine interest and positive intentions can transform new, awkward beginnings into meaningful connections, whether you’re at a networking event in Birmingham or a group session on Zoom! However, and perhaps obviously for some of you, it needs to come from a place of pure authenticity.  

Authenticity is the cornerstone of positive relationship practices and means bringing your full self to all interactions. Now it isn’t that I was trying to be inauthentic as a young woman. I had just learned hyper vigilance and made sure that the cue’s I was picking up on were that of other people’s rather than what was truly in my heart. I wasn’t even sure what was in my heart at times, I was just on high alert.  

Let’s be clear, people pleasing often emerges from fear of rejection, not being liked, or conflict, and ironically, it can result in the very disconnection people are trying to avoid. Developing authentic relationships requires courage to be ourselves and a commitment to kindness that is honest rather than performative. Then we are in a place where we can be genuinely curious about others, and this is when we have such power within us to make someone’s day.

I do appreciate that mostly, if we are acting performatively, then this can be unconscious, and it is perhaps, just how we have learnt to be. We all want to develop meaningful relationships, of course! Perhaps though, it must start with developing the most meaningful relationship of all. The one with ourselves. On my own personal journey, learning about my own values, and who I wanted to be in the world allowed me to really start thinking about how I was showing up with those around me. I should say here, that one of my values is personal growth, so maybe I was always going to go down this path!

Amrit referenced wisdom from Dr. Emma Seppälä PHD (linked below), advocating for “positive practices” at work: acts of kindness, empathy, small rituals of care, and a willingness to forgive rather than blame. It really is the everyday gestures and micro-moments that create the biggest cultural shifts. And, as well as offering these things to others, I believe that doing the same things for ourselves personally, will help with the authenticity piece!

How often do we pause to share a thank you towards another or ourselves? Or highlight what we appreciate about a colleague, or ourselves? Or act kindly when it’s most difficult? In high-pressure moments, it takes real emotional insight to resist the urge to blame ourselves and/or each other and instead focus on compassion and support. But this is precisely when it matters most and has the biggest impact!

We see up close in the work that we do, across multiple teams and businesses, how trust, gratitude, and integrity aren’t just lofty values, they are habits. Every reflective piece, that invites kindness, acceptance, and compassion towards ourselves, and each other, builds a culture where people want to show up, contribute, and push through challenges together. We see too, that when organisations default to blame or overlook what it is to be human, engagement collapses. When kindness, support, and meaning take centre stage, a sense of belonging, resilience, and creativity follow.

I remember some questions I used to ask myself every day, which helped me connect to who I am, as well as how I wanted to show up in the world. They were called ‘The Future Four’ and were coined by life coach Brendan Burchard, and they are:

• Who do I want to be?
• How do I want to interact with others?
• What skills do I need to get better at?
• How can I make a difference and serve with excellence?

Four great questions that allow us to check in with who we are setting out to become, and how we choose to show up in the world. Of course, when we start to be intentional, and tuned in, we can’t help but be authentic, and instead of fear running the show, we have our own backs, understand our worth, and genuinely communicate with integrity.

Amrit posed the question ‘What would happen if we put as much intention into evoking positive emotion and making others feel valued as we do our daily tasks?’ I’d like to add another question for anyone that has been racked with self-doubt or a lack of confidence in their lives; ‘What if we stopped being fearful of what others think of us?’.

We could reflect on how much energy is spent managing others’ perceptions of us rather than how we perceive ourselves. We could shed the fear of judgement, and instead focus on being creative, and courageous, helping others to be authentically themselves in the process!

Both these questions form a potent leadership and cultural challenge: what if daily work was as much about lifting ourselves and each other up, and showing real care, as it was about delivering outputs, and what if we each embraced the freedom to be authentic, without the heavy burden of others’ expectations? The impact could be transformational! We’d have deeper trust, more engaged teams, and a culture where both individuals and organisations thrive through kindness, respect, and fearless human connection.

Our working lives are flooded with deadlines, distractions, and targets. People don’t want to disengage; they want to be part of something where they matter. Leadership, then, is less about charisma, and more about the art of human connection, and that starts with being authentic, developing a meaningful relationship with ourselves, so we can genuinely extend that out to those around us.  What a difference that would make in the world.

If you'd like to listen to this podcast, click here! 

The article mentioned above is linked here!